Early on in the going John Darnielle enthused, “The great thing about this is that if I were doing it, I would say okay, I’m gonna write a bunch of songs about football, but then after two songs I’d just be writing about people in failing relationships sitting in the stands—but you guys are gonna do it for real!” Well, kinda. I’d already decided that for this to be at all tolerable, we’d have to approach the songs from as many different angles as we could think of. So this is the song John would have written.